Marvelous Misadventures of Flapslash
by fidolofido
Summary: Flapjack/K'nuckles slash drabble AWFULNESS. Read at your own risk of deliberate badness! Mature for intent and language, and a beginning of lemon in a later chapter. *cries* New chapter added! Review for more! :DDD
1. Chapter 1

Okay, so I wanted to read absolutely horrible The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack fanfiction slash of K'nuckles/Flapjack (Which I now deem as "F'nuckles"!!), but there was none available. And thus, this was created!

KEEP IN MIND THAT I MEAN FOR THIS TO BE ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE AND TO POKE FUN AT TOTALLY CLICHED SLASH FANFICTION. I TRULY AM NOT THIS AWFUL OF A WRITER. (I hope!)

Reviews are welcome, and I might even write a sequel if there are people who want to read this horrible, horrible perverted rubbish. XD (...which I like to read too.)

Flapjack doesn't belong to me (BUT HE DOES TO K'NUCKLES), blah blah blah.

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As the boy laughed, K'nuckles gazed longingly into his eyes, trailing his eyes down to Flapjack's tight adventure clothes. They were damp from the salty sweat of the sea, and hot from the sweltering heat of the day.

"Ah, boy?" mumbled the old sailor.

"Yes Cap'n?!" giggled the young adventurer.

"I..." K'nuckles trailed off. "..Would you like to go on a _new_ adventure, boy?"

"ADVENTURE!!"

K'nuckles chuckled, pleased when Flapjack's eyes widened with excitement and his body came closer, rigid, eager to be told of the imminent plan.

"How would you like to go on an adventure that you've never even dreamed about, Flapjack? How about an adventure..." K'nuckles searched desperately for the right way to offer himself to the boy. "How about an adventure that gives a reward _better than candy_?"

Flapjack immediately grew straight and sailorly, saluting his captain and giggling vehemently with excitement. "Oh boy, would I Cap'n!!" he cried.

K'nuckles held his breath. He would have to tread carefully, now, to ensure that Flapjack would perform his wishes. He drew his ward into a dark Stormalong alleyway and hid himself among dingy barrels and boxes, gesturing to Flapjack to mirror him.

"What kind of adventure are we having, Cap'n K'nuckles?" asked Flapjack, in a husky whisper. "Are we gonna' be peepin' again?"

"No, Flapjack," corrected the salty older man. "We're gonna' be fuckin'."

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I TOLD YOU IT WAS AWFUL. Cheers!


	2. Chapter 2

OH GOD, THE CLICHES I HAVE USED.

THE TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE IMAGERY.

ENJOY IT.

ENJOY IT LONG AND SLOW AND HARD.

Flapjack's not mine, etc., but K'nuckles has his eager young body for his every whim, blah blah. XD

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Flapjack's young, porcelain eyes filled with wonder. "What's that mean, K'nuckles? It sure sounds like adventure!"

He paused, contemplating the sound. "Fuckin'," he experimented, forming his mouth over the word. K'nuckles watched him in the lingering moment, breathing deeply with anticipation. The boy's taunt, plump lips began to motorboat in impatience. "Pbbbth!" he bubbled, fingering a loose strand on his striped shirt. "Pbbbbbbbb-"

K'nuckles could stand the anticipation no longer. He needed Flapjack's warm, succulent innocence now, and he would stop at nothing to obtain it.

Bubbie wasn't here to protect him.

Flapjack would be his.

The young boy's distracted bubble was abruptly cut short as he found himself pressed against the sea scum encrusted wall of the Stormalong alley, sandwiched between the frosty bricks and the sizzling breath of his eager captain.

"What's that in your pocket, Cap-"

"Quiet!" chanted K'nuckles huskily, dribbling a hot strand of saliva from his open lips. "Promise me you won't talk 'til I'm finished, alright Flapjack? … 'Til we're finished?"

Flapjack sunk against the wall. "Alright, I guess." He pouted, wanting to speak. "This isn't much of an adventure," he mumbled.

A gruff voice answered him. "Oh, it will be boy, it will be."

Silence from the child did indeed follow as the older man removed his shirt and jacket, sweat glistening lightly in the evening sun, but Flapjack cried out with pleasure as K'nuckles ordered him to remove his own. "Swimming, cap'n? Oooh, or a muscle contest!" he reasoned, flexing his tiny biceps.

K'nuckles smiled, and said no. One of them would be swimming, perhaps, but it wouldn't be in water. To answer the boy's confusion K'nuckles merely pointed to his own bloomers. "Take them off for me, slowly," he ordered.

Flapjack obliged, giggling. "Nhea eha eha eha!" No doubt his mind was racing at the thought of this adventure. What could they be about to do?

_Oh, he has no idea_, chuckled K'nuckles to himself. And when Flapjack's eyes widened at the sight of his captain's long, wooden member K'nuckles laughed aloud.

"I've never seen that before!" cried Flapjack with wonder.

"I stuck it on especially for you," smiled K'nuckles. "Now fill your mouth with splinters."

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END! (…Or is it?)


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